Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Remember you are born to live...

Don't go to the way life takes you,
Take the life the way you go;

And remember you are born to live,
Not living because you are born;

Monday, January 30, 2012

Ek ladka apni girl friend ko le kar ghumne jata hai,

Ek ladka apni girl friend ko le kar ghumne jata hai,
.
.
.
aur boht tez barish ho rahi hoti hai.
... … … .
.
.
Socho boht tez barish ladka ladki akele socho kya hota hai
socho
.
.
.
.
socho
.
Nhi pata
.
.
.
.
ladki ka makeup utar jata hai or ladka dar k bhaag jata hai…
hahahahahaha ;-)

A nice collection of WORDS OF WISDOM...

The following 10 simple but powerful secrets of success can dramatically change your life for the better.

When you infuse these secrets into your life and make them part of your daily life, you are bound to succeed in whatever you set yourself to do.

The secrets are hereby revealed!

1. Follow your passion.
Passion is a strong feeling of excitement about something or someone. If for example you are passionate about your job you tend to do it better than anyone else. You add your own flavor or signature and others are bound to notice. Successful people all over the world, in all industries and all types of sports or arts have managed to find their passion. In so doing they tend to rise above ordinary achievers.

Do yourself a favor by striking conversation with anyone that you consider to be successful. Direct your conversation to what they do. You will feel the positive energy when they start telling you about what they do. This positive energy is fueled by passion.

2. Use you talent or talents.

Every one of us has at least one thing that they can do better than anyone else in the whole universe. Like our finger prints we are all unique in one way or the other. Successful people have managed to identify their unique talent or talents. They use their talents not only to advance themselves but also to provide service to humanity.

Some people are fortunate to have managed to identify their talents earlier in their lives. Some do manage to find their talents in their senior years. Irrespective, it is never too late to identify your unique talent and use it to benefit yourself, your family, you community and everyone else.

3. Find your niche.

You have to offer your clients, recipients or consumers of your services something unique. Copying or imitating someone else it has never been a good strategy. After all you will never be able to comprehensively understand and implement other people's ideas without them revealing their secrets to you.

When you persist on the road of imitation you are not only cheating yourself but you may get hurt in the long run. By the way imitators live other people dreams and successful people bring their own flavor to the market.

4. Habitually think positive thoughts.

Nothing positive will come out a mind full of negative thoughts. If you continuously think of failure, you bound to find it at your doorstep. Put yourself in a state where your mind is full of positive thoughts.

Successful people are the most positive people you can ever come across. Their positive outlook is not only confined in what they do, they have a general positive outlook in politics, economy, relationships and so forth.

5. Know what you want.

Get into the mode of setting your own goals. Know exactly where you are going, how you going to get there and when are you going to get there. Your goals must be SMARTE i.e. Simple - Measurable - Achievable - Realistic - Time based - Exciting.

Just like successful people, get into the habit of setting SMARTE goals and you will be amazed at what you can achieve.

6. Take action.

It is commendable to have plans, "smarte" goals and dreams but if you are lazy to act, you are going nowhere. You have get out there and make things happen if you want your life to change for the better. However before acting you must have a clearly defined plan. Without a plan your action will yield nothing desirable to you.

Successful people work smart, follow their dream and are guided by their goals. Some of them work long hours, but that is only because they enjoy what they do.


7. Be persistent.

History is littered with intelligent, talented and highly educated people who amounted to nothing. Most of these people came up with brilliant ideas or were involved in ventures that could have revolutionized our history. Their only downfall is lack of persistence; they gave up too easily, too soon.

The world over, successful people are persistent. It is easy too see why. They are passionate, they operate within their niche and they use their unique talents well.

8. Have integrity.
Integrity is the most important character or trait of successful people. You have to be honest, upfront and upright in your dealings. In this way you live with clean conscience. Successful people have mastered the art of communicating their vision well to others, e.g. employees, financiers, customers or family members. They have done so because they have realized that in order to succeed others have to buy into their vision.

9. Learn the art of communication.
Experts tell us that communication consist of 7% words, 38% tone of our voice and 55% body language. Learn to hear, see, understand and use all components of communication to your advantage.

10. Continuously improve yourself.

Life long learning is the key. The biggest challenge of our times is not literacy or the ability to count, but is the ability to learn, unlearn and re-learn always. To stay on top of your game, you have to consciously improve yourself in order to stay abreast of the changes in your operational area.

Successful people can foresee change in their niche long before ordinary people experience that change. In this way they manage to plan and benefit from changing conditions in their niche.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Don't Play with Engineers... ;-)

Question in Exam:
Define LOVE and explain in details? (10 marks)

MBA Student's Ans:
"Love is Life.."
... (marks 1/2 out of 10)

Medical Student's Ans:
"Love is Pain.."
(marks 1/2 out of 10)

Engineering Student's Ans:

Definition:
A serious disorder of Heart due to Relationship
between Men & Women that can cause Death
of 1 or Both depending on the resistance associated..!!

TYPES:
1 sided
& 2 sided

AGE:
Usually occurs in teenagers,
but nowdays can be found in any age..!

SYMPTOMS:
Tension
Daydreaming
Insomnia
Phone Addiction
DIAGNOSIS BY:
Diary
Photos
Mobile

TREATMENT:
Anti-LOVE therapy by Father's Shoe
or Mother's Sandle.. =P
(marks 10 out of 10)

MORAL:
Don't Play with Engineers,
they can do any thing for 10 marks...

Saturday, January 28, 2012

तुलसी की जगह 'Money Plant' ने ले ली

तुलसी की जगह 'Money Plant' ने ले ली
चाची की जगह ने 'Aunt' ले ली
पिताजी जीते जी 'Dad' हो गए
आगे ओर भी है आप तो अभी से 'Glad' हो गए
भाई 'Bro' हो गया बहन 'Sis' हो गई
दादा दादी की हालत 'Tai Tai Fiss' हो गई
मुन्नी बिना कुछ किए 'Badnaam' हो गई
ऊपर से शीला भी 'Jawan' हो गई
TV की सास बहु मेँ साँप नेवले सा 'Rishta' है
पता नहीँ ये एकता कपूर औरत है या 'Farista' है
भारत-आस्टेलिया के मैच मेँ 'Condom' की एड आती है
देखना हे ये विज्ञापनो की 'Besharmi' कहाँ तक जाती है
जीती जागती माँ बच्चोँ के लिए 'Mummy' हो गई
घर की रोटी अब कैसे 'Achhi' लगे
5 रुपए की 'Maggi' जो इतनी 'Yummi' हो गई
दिन भर बेटा 'Chatting' ही नहीँ करता
रात मेँ मोबाइल पर 'Setting' भी करता है

बहुत दुखी हुँ मेँ......ये दिन देखकर टुट जाता हुँ

जब अपनो के द्वारा ही भारतीय सभ्यता का मजाक उडाया जाता है

Friday, January 27, 2012

Andheri raat mein shama jalana bhool jate ho

Andheri raat mein shama jalana bhool jate ho
Hamari yaad aati hai bhulana bhool jate ho
Jo ehsaan tum samajhte ho wo ehsaanto nahi magar
Jab ehsaan karte ho jatana bhool jateho
Tumhari ik yehi aadat pareshan hum ko rakhti hai
Nazar mein to aa jate ho samana bhool jate ho
Hame mehsoos hota hai hamare qurb mein aakar
Jo tanhai mein biti hai sunana bhool jate ho
Tumhare hath main aksar gulabi phool hota hai
Hamari raah mein lekin bichana bhool jate ho
Tumhe to laut kar jane ki aksar fikr rehti hai
Magar jab laut jate ho to aana bhool jate ho
Suna hai tum apni hatheli per hamara naam likhte ho
Magar jab hum se milte ho dikhana bhool jate ho

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Hum kbhi padh na sake... Kyun ki..?

PADHAI sirf do wajah se hoti hai-
1.Shokh se
2.Darr se
Faltu shokh hum paalte nahi..
aur darte to hm kisi ke baap se nahi...!!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Sardi mein garmi ka ehsaas ...

Thandi ka mausam, sard hai hawa...
Aise mein dil kare tu kuch gunguna...
Subh ka sooraj dekh ye dil khil utha,
Dhoop sek rahe hain hum aur beh rahi hai mand mand hawa...

Qki GEETA me likha he,

Phone karo, bill se mat daro.
Pyar karo, jute khane se mat daro.
Har kisiko prapose karo, inkar se mat daro.
Qki GEETA me likha he,
KARM KARO PHAL KI CHINTA MAT KARO.........:-)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Kia Khabar Tum Ko Dosti Kia Hai ...

Kia Khabar Tum Ko Dosti Kia Hai
Ye Roshni Bhi Hai Andhera Bhi Hai
Khwahishon Say Bhara Jazeera Bhi Hai
Bohat Anmol Ik Heera Bhi Hai
Dosti Ik Haseen Khwab Bhi Hai
Pass Say Dekho Tou Sarab Bhi Hai
Dukh Milnay Pe Ye Azab Bhi Hai
Aur Ye Piyar Ka Jawaz Bhi Hai
Dosti Yoon Tou Maya Jaal Bhi Hai
Ik Haqeeqat Bhi Hai Khayal Bhi Hai

Monday, January 23, 2012

Rajasthan vs Tamil Nadu - RANJI FINAL MATCH - JAN 2012

Rajasthan: 404/2 on End of day 2 - 1st innings of match;
                 621 in 245 overs for more than two & a half days batting innings
                
                 A. Chopra: 94 of 327 balls - S/R: 30.62
                 V Saxena: 257 of 665 balls - S/R: 38.65
                 Kanitkar: 67 of 146 balls - S/R: 45.89
                 Bist: 57 of 159 balls - S/R: 35.85
                 Parida: 40 of 100 balls - S/R: 40.00

So, top 5 batsmen of Rajasthan have scored an amazing 515 runs 1397 balls (233 overs - approx)
Approx run rate: 2.2 rus per over


The people & cricket fans might appreciate the score put on board by Rajasthan team in Ranji Final, and the double century of Saxena but is it really worth it?. The team scored about 200 runs in a day (404 in two days) & Saxena seemed to have all the time in this world to keep on playing his own batting. But is it really the cricket the fans would like to see? It might work in Ranji Final coz Rajasthan was more interested i winning on run-rate basis, but it just doesn't works in international cricket. The best teams out there are not to play for draw but to win. How many of us remember the Drawn series or test matches, it is the wins that counts & makes a team show their supremacy.

It is always a moment of pride for a team to win Ranji Trophy but they also need to prepare the cricketers for international level. If not even a single batsman can score at Strike Rate of 50.00 in top five batsmen, then can they really expect a COMPETITIVE PLACE in national team? Are these the best batsmen we are going to offer to our national team and expect to gain number 1 position in test rankings? Is it?

The purpose of Relationships is...

The purpose of Relationships is not to have someone who might complete you,

But to have someone with whom you can share your incompleteness...

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Par dost to hamesha dil ke kareeb rahenge...

Din beet jaate hain, suhaani yaadein ban kar,
Batein reh jaati hain, yaadein ban kar;

Par dost to hamesha dil ke kareeb rahenge,
Kabhi Muskaan to Kabhi Aankhon ka Paani Ban Kar !!!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Nobody is always a winner.

Anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker ;-)

Understanding how HRA works*

The end of another financial year is drawing close and is a couple of months away. The words "income tax" start ringing a frantic bell towards the end of every financial year, and many questions arise. Please do note that it is best to be prepared in the beginning rather than the end of a financial year!

There are many tax components you need to be clear about and also figure out how to plan your investments to gain maximum returns as well as maximum tax benefits. One such tax component is the tax benefit you can claim from your house rent allowance. This article helps you understand how this works!

HRA (house rent allowance) is provided to salaried people under Section 10 (13A) of Income Tax Act, 1961, in accordance with rule 2A of Income Tax Rules. Self employed professionals are eligible for tax deductions under section 80GG of Income Tax Act, 1961.

Dependent factors

When you are calculating HRA for tax exemption you take into consideration four aspects which includes salary, HRA received, the actual rent paid and where you reside, i.e. if it is a metro or non-metro. If these aspects remain constant through the year, then tax exemption is calculated as a whole annually, if this is subject to change, as in a rent hike or shift in residence etc. then it is calculated on a monthly basis.

The place of residence is significant in HRA calculation as for a metro the tax exemption for HRA is 50% of the basic salary while for non-metros it is 40% of the basic salary.

On paying rent

It is not essential that you should pay rent only to a landlord to avail your HRA benefits. You can pay rent to your parents to claim tax benefits. However, they need to account for the same under `Income from house/property' and will be entitled to pay tax for the same.

Remember you cannot try the same with your spouse, as it is not permissible under income tax law, as you are expected to reside together for all practical purposes.

You need to submit proof of rent paid through rent receipts, for which only two need to be submitted, one for the beginning of the year and one towards the end of the financial year. It should have a one rupee revenue stamp affixed with the signature of the person who has received the rent, along with other details such as the rented residence address, rent paid, name of the person who rents it etc.

How is HRA calculated

To figure out how much HRA exemption you are eligible for, consider these three values which includes a. The actual rent allowance the employer provides you as part of your salary, b. the actual rent you pay for your house from which 10% of your basic pay is deducted, c. 50% of your basic salary when you reside in a metro or 40% if you reside in a non-metro.

The least value of these three values is allowed as tax exemption on your HRA. You can discuss restructuring your pay structure with your employer in order to avail the most of your HRA tax benefit.

Here is a sample illustration for your understanding:

Sheetal earns a basic salary of Rs. 40,000 per month and rents an apartment in Delhi for Rs. 20,000 per month (hence eligible for a 50% of the basic pay for HRA exemption). The actual HRA she receives is Rs. 25,000.

These values are considered to find out her HRA tax exemption:

a. Actual HRA received, i.e. Rs. 25,000,

b. 50% of the basic salary, i.e. Rs. 20,000, and

c. Excess of rent paid over 10% of salary, i.e. Rs. 20,000 — Ra 4,000 = Rs. 16,000

The value considered for her actual HRA exemption will be the least value of the above figures. Hence, the net taxable HRA for Sheetal will be Rs. 25,000 — 16,000 (available HRA deduction) = Rs. 9,000.

Availing tax benefits on your home loan and HRA

As long as you are paying rent for an accommodation, you can claim tax benefits on the HRA component of your salary, while also availing tax benefits on your home loan. This could be the case if your own home is rented out or you work from another city etc. However, you need to account for any rental income you receive from the property you own.

* Source: http://in.finance.yahoo.com

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Once I read: "Smoking is injurious to health"

I was a smoker ! Once I read: "Smoking is injurious to health".

I QUIT Smoking.

I used to drink wine ! Once I read: "Wine is bad for health".

I LEFT Drinking.

I LOVE someone. Once I read: "Love is an illusion".

You know what I did ? ...

I Left READING ;-)

Mehnat Humne Ki ...

Sare Maikhane Sharaab Mein Doob Gaye...
Mehnat Humne Ki Aur Credit Koi Aur Loot Le Gaye...

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Some amazing facts & tricks in Microsoft Windows...

  1. Nobody can create a folder named CON anywhere in the computer.
  2. Do the following:
    • Type BUSH HID THE FACTS in a empty notepad file & save it. Open it again & see the .... trick.
  3. Try this:
    • Type RAND(200,99)  in MS Word & press enter & see...
  4. Another Old Trick:
    • Type Q33N, increase font size to 72 & change font as Wingdings & .....

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Late to wish b'day to your loved one... Try this ;-)

How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older :-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY...

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Love vs Friendship ;-)

Love is when we drink same coconut water putting 2 straws...
Friendship is when we have 1 coconut & use1 straw & say..... Aaja bhikari.. Le ab tu bhi pi le.... ;-)

Friday, January 13, 2012

Twist to song: Jis jagah pe khatam tumhari baat hoti hai...

Jis jagah se tumhari shuruaat hoti hai,
Us jagah pe khatam humari baat hoti hai...
???
???
Jis jagah se tumhari shuruaat hoti hai,
Us jagah pe khatam humari baat hoti hai...
Neev jo reh jaaye agar kamzor to,
Immarat ki bhala kya aukaat hoti hai ;-)

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I am at a police station...

I am at a police station.

The police caught me & filed a case against me of "POSSESION OF GOOD LOOKS"

I'm doomed...

Need some ugly MONKEYS to bail me out

Please help ;-)

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Zindagi aise jeene ka kya faayda...

Zindagi aise jeene ka kya faayda...

Marna hi hai ek din to darne ka kya faayda...

Monday, January 9, 2012

Amazing to Know...

  1. Sharks have upper and lower eyelids, but they do not blink
  2. The majority of cats do not have any eyelashes
  3. The song “Happy Birthday” brings in about $2 million in licensing revenue to Warner Communications who hold the copyright to the song
  4. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world’snuclear weapons combined.
  5. In the movie “Gandhi” 300,000 extras appeared in the funeral scene. Of the 300,000, approximately 100,000 received a small fee, and the other 200,000 did it for free

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Someone invented a machine to catch thieves...

Someone invented a machine to catch thieves...

USA - 9 Thieves caught in a single day....

CHINA - 30 thieves in a day

UK - 60 Thieves...

INDIA
..
..
...
...
Guess how many thieves ... ???
...
...
....
....
.....
.....
The machine was stolen within an hour... ;-)

Saturday, January 7, 2012

"MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY WITH SOMETHING YOU HAVE"

A 9 year old boy went to an ICE CREAM Parlour.

Waiter: What do you want?
Boy: How much a CONE ICE CREAM costs?
Waiter: Rs. 15.
Boy checked his pocket and asked the cost of smaller cone.
Irritated waiter angrily said: Rs. 12
Boy ordered a small cone, had it, paid bill & left.
When the waiter came to pick the EMPTY PLATE, tears rolled down his eyes...
The boy had left Rs. 3 as TIP for him.

"MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY WITH SOMETHING YOU HAVE"   :-)

The past was never a mistake...

If you Learned from it...  :-)

Friday, January 6, 2012

At a new year party, someone yelled...

At a new year party, someone yelled: All Married Guys, please stand next to one person who has made your life worth living...

 Well.... the Bartender was almost crushed to Death ;-)

If the world was ruled by women...

If the world was ruled by women, there would be no war... Just a couple of nations not talking to each other

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Is zamaane mein wafa ki talaash na kar...

Is zamaane mein wafa ki talaash na kar,

Wo daur aur tha jab makaan kachhe aur log sachhe hua karte the...

Don't feel bad...

Don't feel bad if people remember you only when they need you...

Feel privileged that you are like candle that comes to their mind when there is darkness all around...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Pic of the Day - H.H. The Nizam Leaving the Residency, Hyderabad

www.discuss-it-all.blogspot.com

Blessed are those...

Blessed are those who can give without remembering & receive without forgetting....

Great words by a gr8 student ;-)

In exams, they give me questions I can't understand...
...
...
...
.....
.....
.....
And,
I gave the answers they can't understand...   ;-)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Haal ye hua exams mein doston...

Exams de de kar haal kuch aisa ho gaya hai doston...
Exams de de kar haal kuch aisa ho gaya hai doston...
Mummy poochti hai ki khane mein kya doon to kehte hain....
Bas 2nd unit se kuch mat dena pls ... ;-)

Connaught Circle, Delhi - 100 Years Back

www.discuss-it-all.blogspot.com

Monday, January 2, 2012

What was Project Mercury?

In 1958, the Soviet Union launched a satellite, Sputnik, and the space race between the U.S. and the former USSR began. Both nations quickly pursued projects to place men in Earth orbit and beyond. America's first manned space program was called Project Mercury. The goals of Mercury were to place a single astronaut in Earth orbit, see if he could function in outer space and return him and the spacecraft safely to Earth. 

In 1958, a NASA review board invited 110 military test pilots to voluntarily become astronauts. The agency conducted extensive physical and psychological tests on the candidates. In 1959, seven astronauts were finally selected: Alan Shepard, Gus Grissom, John Glenn, Scott Carpenter, Donald "Deke" Slayton, Walter Schirra and Gordon Cooper. These astronauts had many duties: 

  • Assist in the design of the Mercury spacecraft. 
  • Develop operational procedures and in-flight tests of equipment. 
  • Participate in public relations events. 
  • Monitor and manage in-flight systems. 
  • Learn to maneuver the spacecraft. 
  • Navigate the spacecraft. 
  • Communicate with the ground crews. 
  • Conduct research observations while in the weightless environment of space. 

While they trained, scientists and engineers continued to develop and test the Mercury spacecraft, spacesuits, the Redstone booster and the Atlas booster. 

In April 1961, the Soviets beat the Americans by placing cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin in a single Earth orbit. In May 1961, Shepard became the first American in space. However, Shepard's flight, named "Freedom 7," lasted only 15 minutes and did not achieve Earth orbit because the Redstone rocket was not powerful enough. After Shepard's flight, President John F. Kennedy committed America to sending a man to the moon and returning him safely before the decade was out. The space race intensified. 

Grissom conducted another suborbital flight in July 1961. On February 20, 1962, Glenn rode a more powerful Atlas booster to become the first American to orbit the Earth. After Glenn's Friendship 7 flight, astronauts Carpenter, Schirra and Cooper flew three more orbital missions. Each time, the astronaut orbited the Earth for a longer amount of time. The astronauts conducted more tests of their endurance for spaceflight and of the spacecraft. In the final flight on May15-16, 1963, Cooper orbited the Earth 22 times and spent more than 34 hours in space. Project Mercury met its objectives and laid the foundations for sending Americans to the moon.

*Source: discovery.com